The Great Gig in the Sky
by 7kstar
Summary: Spoilers for 5.16 - What if everything you believed about your family was an illusion, and that the brother you thought loved you and relied on you didn't even like you? Could hope survive?
1. Dean's POV

**Disclaimer:** Nope I don't own them…but it is a nice dream don't you think? I just like playing in his sandbox.

**Spoilers for 5.16 – Dark of the Moon **– Don't read if you haven't seen it yet, you've been warned!

Thanks Kas for the beta job. Hopefully I caught all the mistakes!

Please let me know what you think, reviews are like little Reese's peanut butter cups or chocolate. Thanks for reading even, if you don't review!

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**The Great Gig in the Sky**

I couldn't believe that something with such a profound sentimental history had, in a blink of an eye, evaporated into nothing. Feeling detached and numb, I stared at the piece of metal as the weight of the world plunged onto my shoulders. Voices crammed my mind with broken promises, ripping away my equilibrium. Sammy, my baby brother, was finally dead and in his place stood a stranger. _Had I killed my baby brother? Am I responsible?_

No longer could I pretend that everything would right itself again. No longer could I deny that I had spun a fairytale, creating faith that my family adored me as much as I worshipped them. No longer could I even focus on figuring out who was to blame. Sometimes you just have to admit how much you have screwed up and find a way to move on. Sammy had vanished years ago, only I had never bothered to notice he hadn't really needed to include me back into his world. Instead circumstances and threats had forced us back together. Worse yet, guilt had been the latest dictator in charge of his actions.

No, it was clear he had only decided to stay out of some misguided guilt for me selling my soul to bring him back to life. What is dead should stay dead. How stupid of me to forget the most important rule of hunting. Yet, how could I have let my brother live his life truly alone? Wouldn't that make me a hypocrite?

Clarity finally punctuated my foggy brain and the lyrics of Journey's "Separate Ways" had a new profound meaning. I wondered, _"What else have I been deluding myself with all my life?"_ Family should mean something; they should be the only ones that you can count on never to walk away. Blood should pull you together, shouldn't it? Or had my foolish need to never be alone distorted everything, creating false beliefs or realities.

If Lucifer weren't an issue, would we have separated? And for the first time, I wondered if we had ever belonged together. Funny how two of my most cherished memories had involved my family, but not one of Sam's had included me. Worse, two of his most cherished moments involved my worst nightmares coming true. I wasn't a complete, utter idiot, I understood that Jessica would be his most important flashback, but that not one included me…I felt sucker-punched in the gut.

Then it struck me like a ton of bricks: Sam, not Sammy. How many times had he told me? Only I wasn't listening. How could I have not noticed that my baby brother didn't like me? How many times did I need to be hit over the head before I allowed it to soak in? Every time praise was delivered in my direction by Sam or Dad or they had demonstrated they liked who I was, they were possessed, or worse, they had wanted something…something that only I could have provided.

So I stopped listening to Sam, and I took a step forward. I manage to grab several things before I headed out the door. The necklace dangled off the edge of my fingertips, and for a split second, I hesitated before finally allowing the necklace to drop, forever forgotten, putting my fantasy to rest. It was time to stop being a punching bag, admit ownership in my mistakes but mostly time to let go of a dream that had never had a chance to live in the first place…_right? _Could I do it, could I really let my brother go? I could never stop loving him, but was it time to finally set him _free?_

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**A/N:** Hit that review button and let me know what you think. I'm a fan of both boys. I working on Sam's point of view but I don't like it yet.


	2. Sam's POV

Sam's POV -

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Deception and fantasy, my constant companions, shaped my foundation as I grew up. Escape drove my every waking desire, as I dreamed of a normal life, the perfect family. I couldn't imagine how my relatives would be the envy of anyone. It was still sometimes impossible to believe how screwed up everything was. Because no matter how much I wanted to make things right, struggled so hard to fix what was broken between us, I just couldn't seem to catch a lucky break.

Like tricky rascals, memories survive forever. The phrase, "Be careful what you wish for" should come with an instruction manual or at the very least a guidebook so you don't hurt yourself, or worst yet, the one person with whom you're desperately trying to mend broken fences. I found myself now fascinated by my brother's eyes, which truly conveyed the window into his soul.

Dean's eyes, my brother's eyes, betrayed every emotion he had ever felt. For so many years, I was blind, unable to pierce the veil that covered his soul and now I must admit, I just didn't want to see. I wished I could go back to being blind, because ignorance was bliss. But his eyes gave everything away and right now, I knew just how much I was tormenting him.

First step, disappointment; he was agitated beyond disbelief, by the two memories he witnessed; he was totally left out of the loop. Funny how I didn't recognize my young teenager's dreams anymore. Slowly I was getting it, I felt so cheated growing up.

The normal fantasy of growing up with a caring mom or family just wasn't my particular experience. But I had a brother willing to do anything, sacrifice everything, for me, and even now, I couldn't believe how little appreciation I have shown him for always trying to support me. Believing in me, when no one else would. But fate isn't always kind and for some strange reason, annihilating my brother was all I had left. _Why was that?_ No matter how much I attempted to make up for all the damage I've inflicted on him from this past year, I kept stabbing him in the heart, adding to his problems instead of creating some much needed relief.

I babbled on about how we could still find a solution. "We'll find another way," I kept insisting, "I dunno. But we'll find it. You and me…we can't give up." Then before my eyes, a single motion left me feeling flabbergasted. I was stunned into disbelief as my brother communicated loud and clear his feelings about our relationship. A symbol of our love was tossed away like a bad salad and I couldn't help but wonder how I could move much less keep breathing, after this. I felt suckered-punched and on the inside, I screamed to be heard, but I froze in my tracks when I watched him drop the necklace into the trashcan.

_No…he can't do this. He can't. We are all that we have left, Dean, why can't you see that? God, I know that I hurt you…again. I know that right now, you want to disappear, that you're breaking into a thousand pieces…but don't you get it? I need you now. I need you like I never have, and for the first time I really get everything you have ever given up for me. I'm willing to fight to do what it takes, but you can't give up on me…on us, not now. Not when Lucifer is tracking me down._ _Damn, I need you to trust me, trust us one more time… that together we can conquer…_

How could I explain that not all memories brought the same amount of happiness that they once created? Now, my life seemed to be divided into two categories: before Dean's death and after Dean's death.

I thought the worst thing in my life was when Jess had been killed before my eyes. My most truly blissful and pleasurable moments had been with her. I was the lucky one. I couldn't say I hadn't ever been loved and given a chance to experience my most cherished dreams, but had Dean? What magic had my brother ever experienced? What truly treasured moment of happiness had he had?

In a split second I envisioned two Deans standing in front of me: a little four-year-old wearing a t-shirt that said 'I wuv hugs' and my broken older brother. Part of me needed to scoop you up into a great big embrace and force you to realize that it was okay to be loved. Now, the t-shirt that I had teased you about wasn't so funny anymore. Could my brother truly believe that it was better to keep himself at a distance, to never allow anyone else to breach his walls, to never love again? I blinked back the moisture commanding myself not to cry, to remain stoic.

Funny how I took everything for granted until I obliterate the one thing that mattered the most. I babbled, because I couldn't believe how selfish and self-centered I had once been. Because, yes before Ruby tricking me, before Dean had been so cruelly murdered in front of me, before I had appreciated how much my single-minded outrage had provoked my every move, my happiest times would have revolved around anyone else besides my family.

How had I raced to run away, never understanding how much my brother had sacrificed to give me the chance at normal? I had called him weak, and maybe in some ways I did believe it still, but on the other hand, he was the strongest, bravest man standing before me, and it was excruciating to watch him shatter before my eyes. He'd finally given up on me…on us, and the simple action of discarding a symbol of our bond, of tossing a necklace, hurt so much more than I ever thought it would have; I froze, unable to go forward in time and wishing desperately I could fix it somehow…_God, there has to be a way to fix this._ My plea flooded my very core as determination filled my soul to figure this out, and with a smattering of hope; I plucked the necklace from the trashcan, storing it in a safe spot until the right time when it once again would live around my brother's neck.

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**A/N:** Do you like it or did I fail miserably in finding Sam's voice? Still not sure if I liked it, but hopefully I showed that both brothers aren't giving up on love and family can't be disowned no matter what happens. Please hit that review button, because I could use some feedback.

_Please let me know what you think, reviews are like little Reese's peanut butter cups or chocolate. **Thanks for reading even, if you don't review!**_


	3. God's POV

'Angels are watching over you', isn't it funny how such a simple phrase possessed so many hidden agendas. Not only were the angels watching over you two knuckleheads, but also, so am I. I'm counting on you, Dean. Lessons, so many priceless little lessons, you are teaching my children, even if they are too blind to learn them.

I must save my two precious boys, Lucifer and Michael. Sometimes pain will create the miracle, and you two are the world's only hope. So I sit back and observe, knowing that my interference will only hinder my desired outcome. Let them call me names, I can take it, though it really shreds my heart in two. But someday, all of my children will call me father; I only have to be patient and wait. Someday, you two will understand the gift I've given you, although unfortunately, it will get a lot more excruciating before the ultimate solution appears, but I will live for that day. For the day that everyone truly experiences heaven and it means saving everyone…even my son, _Lucifer_.

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_(Only read if you want to know why I wrote the last section, otherwise skip it.)_

**A/N:**

I've had this part for a while now. I wasn't sure if I should really post it, since it is clearly AU now …but it was an idea that really started the whole thing, so I decided to risk it. It's short and easily ignored if you hate it. So consider it AU, because I really believe in a loving God and I couldn't help but reflect it in this piece. You don't have to like it, but I felt the brother against brother is too common and overly used. I wanted the brother's fighting together and teaching the angels a lesson…where love is stronger than anything else and the brothers being united being the ultimate lesson.

Please don't flame but if you have some feedback to help me improve my writing I would love to hear from you.


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